AUTHENTIC KLINGON WEDDING
Explained By Worf Of Star Trek
Worf Explaining The Ritual To His Son
You have not lived till you attended a small intergalactic Star Trek Wedding theme. In 50 years in this game I think I might have seen it all, from nude weddings, to mud hole rallies, a surprise high Cardinal Mass in a very famous Cathedral to two people, a jeep and a justice of the peace, a thank you and they drove off to go camping.
Aboard the Enterprise 1701A - William Shatner would be proud. It was a blast, well many blasters, and the Ferengi were the bartenders, the Klingon Groom was scary and the Romulon Bride looking radiant in her costume from two pounds of glitter, as were the guests.
It brought tears to your eyes when they crossed their bat'leth curved longsword with four points and handholds on the back. It was designed and created by Star Trek: The Next Generation visual effects producer Dan Curry for the Star Trek franchise.
It is mainly used by the Klingons as martial arts-style swords.. Replicas of bat'leths are widely available as collectibles and are used in costuming and they have been also used in crimes. Debates on the legality of the weapon differs between countries. You might invest in “KLINGON for DUMMIES” on Amazon for $15.95.
The JP who officiated was in a Star Trek Academy uniform which actually was a pair of pajamas with some sewn on patches. It well well till the two buttons on the back flap fell off. Not a pretty sight.
Romulon beer (Budweiser with food coloring) and some very strange looking food prepared by the replicators (Micro waves). The Pterodactyl (Turkey) wings done to a crisp in a delightful sauce from the Planet Habaneracol near Pente Ruhas was guaranteed to produce some Super Nova's the next day. Timed to coincide with a Star Trek event, I had expected to see Spock, Bones and the "I need more time" guy to pop up.
The Klingon wedding was a highly ritualized ceremony, resembling an opera. Klingon warriors beating their drums received the couple as the officiant (usually the Lady of the Great House of the groom) recited the traditional story of the Klingon creation, in which the second Klingon heart was created to be joined with the first and they both rose up against their gods. The Tawi'Yan presented the couple with bat'leths as they did mock battle with each other in representation of the struggle of the two Klingon hearts against one another.
After the couple recited their vows, swearing to unite against all their opponents, the guests attacked them with ceremonial weapons, the ma'Stakas.
In preparation for the wedding, brides joining their betrothed's house had to be approved by the mistress of that house. The bride needed to display her ability to perform several traditional Klingon rituals, e.g., the Bre'Nan and the display of Var'Hama candles. Brides were also required to recite the history of all the females of the house she was joining. Grooms prepared with their closest male friends, including one designated as the Tawi'Yan, the Klingon equivalent of a best man. They went to a cave, or a simulation of a cave if necessary, for the physical and spiritual journey of kal'Hyah. (DS9: "You Are Cordially Invited")
Klingons could also be wed in a shorter, more informal ceremony in which the two participants repeated an oath and then kissed. This ceremony could be performed by the Klingon equivalent of a justice of the peace, or the vow could be taken privately, legally constituting marriage by mutual consent. (DS9: "The House of Quark"; TNG: "Reunion")
KLINGON WEDDING CEREMONY SCRIPT —
Lady Of House - With fire and steel did the gods form the Klingon Heart. So fiercely did it beat. So loud was the sound that the Gods cried out... "On this day we have brought forth the strongest heart in all the heavens. None can stand before it without trembling at its strength”.
But then the Klingon heart grew weak, its steady rhythm faltered, and the gods said... "Why have you weakened so? We have made you the strongest in all of creation”. And the Heart said: “I am Alone”.
Lady of House - And the gods knew that they have erred, so they went Back to their forge and brought forth... A second Heart. Bride walks in, sword bearer walks towards groom holding swords out and the Bride and Groom take Swords.
Lady of House - But the second heart beat stronger than the first, and the first was jealous of it’s power. OOOps…..
(Groom Strikes center of Brides Blade)(Bride Blocks, and parries to Grooms throat - Gently resting)
Lady of House - Fortunately the second heart was tempered by wisdom
"We are not accorded the luxury of choosing the women we fall in love with. Do you think Sirella is anything like the woman I thought I'd marry? She is a mercurial, arrogant, prideful woman who shares my bed far too infrequently for my taste. And yet... I love her deeply. We Klingons often tout our prowess in battle and our desire for honor and glory above all else... but how hollow is the sound of victory without someone to share it with. And Honor gives little comfort to a man alone in his home... and in his heart.”
Martok, 2374 ("You Are Cordially Invited”)
KLINGON MATING RITUALS — were a series of courting traditions held by the Klingons. Klingon mating rituals included combative foreplay. They were notoriously complex. The ritual began with each participant sniffing the other's right arm/hand. Then each gripped the other's right hand as to cause bleeding.
Klingons traditionally mated for life, and it was not uncommon for them to take commitment oaths after only one encounter. While a full Klingon marriage ceremony involved many witnesses and an elaborate re-enactment of the Klingon creation myth, the much briefer oath of marriage required no officiant or witnesses and was accepted legally and socially as constituting marriage by mutual consent. K'Ehleyr did not recite her half of the oath when Worf invoked it following their mating, fearing the damage it would cause to their respective careers, but that did not stop Worf from calling her his mate and claiming the Right of Vengeance after Duras killed her.
The mating ritual as described above was not always carried out when mating occurred between a Klingon and a member of another race, and it should be noted that Klingons often did not like non-Klingons mating with members of their houses.
It was not uncommon to break multiple bones during Klingon amorous play. In fact, fracturing a clavicle on the wedding night was even considered a blessing on the marriage. Jadzia Dax described the Klingon mating ritual as the participants "jumping on each other like a pair of crazed voles." While some, such as Dax, found this exciting, others, such as Quark, found it particularly intimidating. Speaking about Klingon courtship and marriage, Martok once noted that no one could be in control of who they fell in love with.
Due to his traditional Klingon values, Worf, in general, took mating much more seriously than his partners did, much to his chagrin and theirs. Worf once described Klingon mating to Wesley Crusher as involving the male reading love poetry while ducking heavy objects thrown by the female. Tom Paris also made a reference to this, when B'Elanna Torres attempted to seduce him while mentally bonded to Vorik during his pon farr, saying, "so this is the part where you throw heavy objects at me?"
Captain Gabriel Lorca claimed that Klingons did not have a fully compatible number of reproductive organs with Humans.