THE WEDDING SHOOTERS PRAYER

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THE WEDDING SHOOTER’S PRAYER


LORD! 


Protect them from themselves, may they have clean glass, 
clean underwear after the event, and full batteries.
May there be an abundance of smart cards, and good ambient lighting. 
Prayerfully, a Catholic Priest who allows the use of Flash.

May he or she find the perfect Bride, a Bride who is 
understanding, listens carefully, duct taped her mother,
drop dead gorgeous, under two hundred pounds and
 is not a card carry-ing member of Bridezillas, Inc.

May the caterer service the meal with etiquette and an approach 
to the 
level of cuisine befitting the occasion even if it's only 
Hamburgers and Wings and may the Wings be mild, thank you.

May the flowers in the Church be as ordered and the selection coordinating with the 
rest of the styling.  No Ragweed, Venus Flytraps, a Poison Ivy, 
Oleander nor stuffed Bats unless it's a Gothic gig.

May the limousine arrive in time, with the groom sober,
 and the best man remembering the ring or where he last left it.
Hopefully leaving the stripper at the club and not inviting her...

May the flower girl have a fresh diaper on and not try to
beat the little boy ring bearer to death, cause' he stole a kiss...

May no one or many stand up in chorus when the Priest asks, 
" Is there someone who is against this marriage.

May we all feel safe knowing the security people checked all the guests
for weapons of an kind including AR-15’s, M-16’s, Ak47’s and AKM’s...

When it's all over may the photographer, “ Say thank you Lord" 
and know and believe he got pictures worthy of publication, 
and he did the job to the best of his ability.

   AMEN and AMEN 

06/04/2021   aljacobsladder.com