THE AMERICAN DREAMER

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George Carlin Knew Why They Called It…
 

'The American Dream'

by Bill Berry ( Wrote the introduction about this Brilliant Man) 

Ah, the week of St. Patty’s Day, and maybe the luck of the Irish will lead us to the pot o' gold coins.  But don't count on it. Not in Wisconsin, not in these times. Nonetheless, in honor of this hopeful holiday, when a saint evicted the snakes from the green island, we can go to that great American philosopher of Irish descent. Surely he can put the events of recent weeks in context.

We speak here of George Carlin, who left the earth too soon in 2008, but saw the future quite clearly, which may have hastened his departure. Thanks to the Internet, he will be forever with us, or at least until Big Brother yanks him away for being too subversive.

For now, you can find Carlin's 2005 skit, "The American Dream," quite easily. I can't, however, recommend it in this column, because it is indelicately laced with some of the "seven dirty words" that got him arrested at, appropriately, Milwaukee's Summerfest in 1972. So promise you won't go and find it, and if you do, I didn't send you there. My parish priest would frown upon that.

I'll clean things up here a bit, so you get the gist of the genius. It must be said that Carlin actually agreed with Gov. Scott Walker on education. As Carlin said, "Education sucks." But their views diverge from that point. To wit:


GEORGE CARLINS VIEWS



  • "The reason education sucks and will never, ever, ever be fixed is because the owners of this country don't want that. … I'm talking about the real owners, the big, wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. They got the politicians. The politicians are there to make you believe you have freedom of choice. You don't. You have owners. They own you.

  • In fact, said Carlin, they own everything — the best land, corporations, you name it. Well before the Citizens United decision of last year, Carlin was proclaiming the owners have "long since bought and paid for the Senate and Congress, the statehouse, the city halls. They have the judges in their back pockets." Media? “ hey own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear.

  • The owners spend billions every year lobbying to get what they want, said the Irishman who wore black, not green, adding: "You know what they want? They want more for themselves and less for everybody else. I'll tell you what they don't want. They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking — well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. That doesn't help them. That’s against their interests.

  • They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork and just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly (bleep) jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and the vanishing pension that disappears as soon as you come to collect it.

  • And now, said the comedian who didn't crack a smile throughout the whole routine, "They're coming for your Social Security money. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know what, they'll get it.  You know why? It's a big club, and you ain't in it. You and I are not in the big club

  • They don't care about you at all, at all, at all, you know, and nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. That's what the owners want.  Call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

  • That last part, the line about people being asleep, would have to be altered after the past few weeks in Wisconsin. The governor deserves credit for that.   Of course, the owners want us to go back to sleep.  Sit back, watch basketball, or go to the store and buy some stuff.   It'll all get better.  That’s what we’re told to believe.




MORE FROM THE BEST OF CARLIN:

Some Profane Words and Thoughts…and Great Truth
  https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/George_Carlin

  • “I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them.  If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.”  

  • Here's my problem with the Ten Commandments: why are there ten? Why are there ten? You don't need ten. I believe the list of ten commandments was artificially and deliberately inflated to get it up to ten. Here's what happened:
    About 5,000 years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to try to figure out how to control people, how to keep them in line.
    They knew people were basically stupid and would believe anything they were told, so they announced that God had given them some commandments, up on a mountain, when no one was around... God had given them the Ten Commandments.
    Well let me ask you this- when they were making this shit up, why did they pick ten? Why not nine, or eleven? I'll tell you why- because ten sounds official. Ten sounds important! Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it's a decade, it's a psychologically satisfying number, the top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dressed. So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision. And it's clearly a bullshit list. It’s a political document, artificially inflated to sell better.


  • I give you my revised list of the Two Commandments: "Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie", and "thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than the one you pray to". Two is all you need; Moses could have carried them down the hill in his frickin pocket, and I wouldn’t mind those folks in Alabama posting them on the courthouse wall, as long as they provided one additional commandment: “Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself".

  • Why, why, why, why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't wanna fuck in the first place?  Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? They're all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don't want to know about you. They don't want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you’re pre-born, you’re fine; if you're preschool, you're fucked. 
  • Conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach military age. Then they think you're just fine. Just what they've been looking for.  Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Pro-life... pro-life... These people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors! What kind of pro-life is that? What, they'll do anything they can to save a fetus but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it?  They're not pro-life. You know what they are? They're anti-woman. Simple as it gets, anti-woman. They don't like them.  They believe a woman’s primary role is to function as a brood mare for the state.

  • Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they're against homosexuals. Well who has less abortions than homosexuals? Leave these fucking people alone for Christ's sake. Here is an entire class of people guaranteed never to have an abortion and the Catholics and the Christians are just tossing them aside. You'd think they'd make natural allies. Don’t look for consistency in religion.

  • "Life is sacred"?  Who said so? God?  Hey, if you read history, you realize that God is one of the leading causes of death! Has been for thousands of years! Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Christians; all taking turns killing each other because God told 'em it was a good idea. The sword of god, the blood of the lamb, 'vengeance is mine'; millions of dead motherfuckers. Millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to The God Question: 

Do you believe in God?   No!  BAM Dead
Do you believe in God?  Yes!
     Do you believe in my God?  No!    BAM Dead!

  • “ Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time!
    But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money!” 

  • “ We’re so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody's going to save something now.  Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. And the supreme arrogance? Save the planet! Are these people kidding? Save the planet? We don't even know how to take care of ourselves; we haven't learned how to care for one another. We’re gonna save the fuckin’ planet? . . . 
    And, by the way, there's nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. The planet is fine. The people are fucked! Compared with the people, the planet is doing great. It's been here over four billion years . . . The planet isn't goin' anywhere, folks. We are! We're goin' away. Pack your shit, we're goin' away. And we won't leave much of a trace. Thank God for that, nothing left,  maybe a little Styrofoam. The planet will be here, and we'll be gone. Another failed mutation; another closed-end biological mistake.” 

  • “I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.'"
    Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name. If they say, "We're the So-and-Sos," take a walk. And if, somehow, you must join, if it's unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. But don't participate; it will be your death. And if they tell you you’re not a team player, congratulate them on being observant.”

  • I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God - I really tried. I really really tried. I tried to believe that there is a god who created each one of us in his own image and likeness, loves us very much and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize…something is F—KED UP. 
    Something is WRONG here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption and the Ice Capades.  Something is definitely wrong. This is NOT good work. If this is the best God can do, I am NOT impressed. Results like these do not belong on the resume of a supreme being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently run universe, this guy would have been out on his all-powerful.  
06-07-2019 aljacobsladder.com