FUNERALS, PARADES, SPACE FORCE, NORTH KOREA



- DONALD TRUMP - WANTS A SOACE COMMAND- 

- LETS GIVE HIM ONE, A SPACE FARCE -



THE FABULOUS AND BIGLY CREW OF THE STARSHIP USS MISHIGAS-D 

Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship MISHIGAS-D.  It’s somewhat continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new sexual life styles, hotel sites and new civilizations who like to play golf, to boldly go where no one has gone before.  And try not to totally f*ck-up everything it comes in contact with.

Featuring USS Mishigas-D in it’s fabulous setting with a bigly waste of money on a totally screwed up crew set in the Alpha Quadrant, nearby regions of the Chocolate Milky Way galaxy first discovered by Barack Obama.   In 2018 Admiral Trump made an executive order decision to change it back to the GOP Pure White Milky Way.


THE NEW CREW

Donald Trump as The Admiral Captain Johnny “ BigBalls” Picarding ( He gets the leading role)  “ Wants to be called Flash ” but the writers said no, didn’t want “ Flashing”   added to groping accusations.  
The Supreme Visionary, Inspirer, and leader of earths Space Command known for setting a world record for being called nasty names, he denies it all claiming everybody loves him.  The Klingons wanted to roast him but could not find a pot big enough and enough oil to fulfill.  The Science Officer explained the word “ roast”  meant a comedy hour, not meaning to serve him for lunch.  The Klingons were not happy.

Michael Pense as Commander “William No Balls’ Rikets
First Officer and Succulent Butt-Kisser who is on top of all things the Captain does and thinks it’s all great, the only crew member who brought his wife with him into space.  He directed the NASA space suit company to make a dual linked space suit so they could hold hands in space. The bill was 7.8 million dollars and Pense told the Captain he had prayed over it and God directed the OK.  Trump said don’t worry, I understand what holding a part of another human being means, I do a lot of that myself,  and I’ll just deduct it from your NRA check.  Keep up the good work, Mike, those evangelicals sure love your rap.

Marco Rubio as Commander Spock Science Officer  ( DR. ZARKOV 
Marco known for his ability for changing sides, thus the name changeling is associated with him.  Being from the same planet as Spock means as a Vulcan he doesn’t emote, nor tells lies.  In this series, the writers changed the DNA for Rubio as he is more comfortable playing both sides of the coin and never being totally honest.

Jeffrey Sessions as Lieutenant Boff
The Designated Security Officer, Deportation from Airlock Supervisor, and Lavatory Inspector -  After all no on ever took more poop and gave it back than good old Jeffrey Sessions.  A scumbag of the highest order and close associate of Mike Pense and the other Evangelicals Donald Chump serves to keep his vote.

Rick Perry as Lt Commander Bada-data
On medical leave getting a new brain, the old one  ( a Mark Seven) failed horribly so did MK 4-5- and 6, causing lots of memory problems, known as CRS...Can’t remember Sh*t.

Mike Pompao as - Lt Commander Georgi La Forge
He can fix anything the captain f*cks up, sometimes.  His most important function like so many others in the cast is to support the President.  Some have suggested he can support the President on a chair with a hemp rope around the leaders neck and kick the chair out. Thats not in the script, I don’t think.

Betsy Devos as - Counselor and Educator Deanna Menage Troi
Who is still known for having an affair with Commander Rickets and in the new Space  Star Farce wants to try a Klingon and  Ferengi in a three way strictly for study of multi-specie relationships to be taught in Star Farce’s schools. Few argued her point, as she is a staunch evangelistic big bang thinker, and cavemen killed the dinosaurs, the earth was made in seven days, you know that horseshit.  
Maybe a little big banging “ menage -a-trois” on a space multicultural experiment will straighten her out and bring her up to speed in the modern world, if not leave her on an asteroid.

Dr Ben Carson  as The Ships Doctor - Dr. Beverly Crushnuts - The staff did great job in this cross dressing situation. He looks good in a dress.  But Donald killed the idea because of the LGBTQB problem it might cause.  And wants him to look like a man and with some lessons from Betsy Devos, Michelle Bachmann, Sara Palin who also bitched a lot and did nothing, and  talk like a man.

Steve Mnuchin as  ZOg Grifinki - the Mishigas-D Ships Payroll Director - He’ll make sure the accounting is right and the payroll checks are bigger on top.  The crew voted him number three in whom would you like to stick in a faulty airlock.

Rudy Giuliani playing the part of a Ferengi - He looks the part, ugly, he’s a crook, knows his lines well though he does Funfeh which is a Jewish word meaning as a speaker, he fluffs, errors a lot.  He is banned from using the inter-ship intercom for safety reasons.  The crew placed him fourth in the bad airlock survival contest but will reconsider moving him up if he continues to spin horseshit.

The Mishigas-D was built by Kim Jung Un one of Donald’s friends, ballistic support and electronics support by Vladmirir Putin and the ship was blessed by Hassan Rouhani.


HE WANTS A NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

LET’S GIVE HIM ONE !



- THE PRESIDENT WANTS A PARADE -

LETS GIVE HIM ONE...  AT HIS FUNERAL !


THE PRESIDENT WANTS A PARADE  

Donald T-Hump, aka Trumple Dipshit, Herr Shekel Pooper, ( money waster)  the Supreme Being, Dictator, Self promoted God and Deity suffering from Napolianic Douchbag Syndrome wants a parade, a parade for what?  

Because he went to France and saw a nice parade in true spectacular French tradition.  He said he saw a nice parade and he wants one, since it is a great photo-op.  He deserves one. On one condition, it be at his funeral, but there is one problem.

OK,  several Presidents who served their country received a Military hero’s full honors funeral.  He was a draft dodger.

He would be entitled to a parade of sanitary garbage trucks from across the nation driven by immigrants and DACA’s who have made it a great life for themselves and their family, and for our country.  Something his selfishness does not understand.  We should be proud of our DACA’s proving our system works. 


NO PARADES FOR DRAFT DODGERS
TRUTH:  He deferred five times the draft board, and since he is a Fake President we believe or must assume with fake medical papers, from rich fake doctors who work on rich kids, high draft numbers, bone spurs, college deferment, all kinds of excuses... 

Although he attended a military prep school from 8th grade through 12th grade, he applied for and was granted a few deferments from the draft and then sought a medical deferment for “heel spurs,” although he does not currently remember which foot was affected!  (The problem seems to have magically disappeared once he was past draft status.)  

His claims of his great leadership roles from fellow students at his military school brought forth comment we cannot print here words like XXXXX and he had very shined shoes.  


AN EXCLUSIVE CLUB
THE COWARDS CLUB

” He shares that award the For Cowardice Above and Beyond the Call of Duty which he shares with Rush Lindbaugh, Sean Hannity, and the following.

  • George Bush 43, - got out of the war by getting a position in the National Guard, most believe Daddy helped. 
  • Rudy Giuliani  -   repeatedly sought and got deferments from the draft, having strings pulled to keep him undrafted even though he had a 1A status and a high draft number.  
    Additionally, following the September 11 attacks, he falsely reassured citizens and ground zero workers that the air in New York was safe when it was indeed full of asbestos and other contaminants.  
    Mayor “Mr. Law and Order” also used police officers getting city overtime to drive him to his mistress and provided her with a city police chauffeur service. He does however looks good in drag. He wears dresses.
  • Mitt Romney  -  This conservative leader of the Republican party does not hesitate to talk tough about throwing around American military might and bitterly criticizes President Obama for failing to be more decisive with America’s enemies.  For himself, however, he fled to Europe when of draft-eligible age to work as a missionary, tooling around France on his bicycle, returning to the US when it was “safe.”
  • Ted Nugent  -    This tough-talking, gun toting rascal told the magazine High Times in a 1977 interview that he avoided the draft during Viet Nam by taking crystal meth and pooping his pants.  He confirmed this story to the Detroit Free Press in 1990, saying he used the inside of his pants as his bathroom for a week to purposely fail the physical. Nugent later denied this, saying he got his deferment by enrolling in college, but that is not true as his actual deferments for 1969 and 1972 were for physical, psychological or moral reasons.  It seems he claims and strongly believes in our rights, just not that they are worth fighting for on his part.  Others can do it, another draft dodging scumbag coward.
  • Bruce Springsteen  -  He acted wacky at his induction physical to get a 4/F rating and therefore be able to avoid the draft, something he told Rolling Stone in 1984, saying that his thoughts at the time were,  “I am not going.”  Do not be fooled by his unemployed veteran’s lament “Born in the USA.”  “The Boss” did not serve and wanted it that way.
  • Newt Gingrich  -  President Clinton’s archenemy and most vocal critic, Gingrich pulled the same trick to avoid the draft that Clinton did and topped off his hypocrisy by engaging in an extra-marital affair while lambasting Clinton for the Monica Lewinsky incident.  Of course, this chickenhawk is all gung-ho about committing US armed forces to combat anywhere and everywhere, just not when it involves him or his kids.
  • Chickenhawk Dick Cheney  - An outspoken hawk of a congressman, Secretary of Defense and Vice President, Cheney repeatedly obtained waivers to avoid being drafted while younger but did not hesitate to send other people’s kids to war.  It is believed by many critics that Cheney was the ( Liar, Liar Pants on Fire)  driving force behind the disastrous decision to invade Iraq in 2003.  Thanks,  Dick for really screwing up the country. And you lied to Congress, about everything. You are truly a  supreme Scumbag and partially responsible for the deaths and injuries you created by your lies. You should have been shot as a traitor for lying to Congress and the world about WMD’s.
  • Bill Clinton  -  Although not as hawkish as some of those listed, Clinton did use American military in Yugoslavia and Somalia although he himself avoided the draft during the Viet Nam War Years by pretending to sign up for ROTC, a college-based military officer training program, a legal but sneaky ruse at the time.  He gained the presidency at the expense of George H. W. Bush who had served as a pilot during World War II and even got shot down.  


THIS IS NOT A REALTY SHOW

AND IT HAS TO BE STOPPED

We are the most powerful country in the world, with the greatest scientific technology and armament, spirited and utilized by the greatest war fighters in the world proving themselves strong and vigilant time after time and the world knows that,  and also knows we are the most helpful and benevolent military in the world.

He wants a parade for the Donald Trumps ego.  Anything else is bullshit. His ego driven Fake Presidency cultured in ignorance and stupidity and supported by a bunch of half-wits in a cabinet with no regard for the people doesn’t need a parade.  They need to be fired, or go to prison or some need to charged with treason for lying to Congress.

Maybe we should dress T-Rump in a military uniform spledorific, festooned with awards and ribbons, ‘what we called salad dressing’.   He could salute the troops as they marched by just like Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini, Joseph Stalin, Kim Jung Un, Kim’s father, grandfather, and lest us not forget the Roman Emperors and Greeks who also promoted parades as a form of entertainment.  Thanks to the Huffington Post who captured all his glory in this shot.

Like the games in the colosseum it was for the glory of the empire, showed control the common folks a reminder as to how powerful their leaders really were.  

Today even Iran, and the Palestinians like to show off their military dance routines.   Trumps love of the military is simple, one day he might need them.  And when they find out how they have been screwed, it will all come down.

We have better things to spend the money on. We have no business bragging to the world who we are. We are a nation of peace lovers not war mongers and besides we don’t dance like these other countries do.  On that note, a challenge has been made:  Trump wants our military to take on the North Koreans in a dance off.  Maybe they’ll dance at his funeral...


THE GOP PARADE COMMITTEE CHALLENGES 

N. KOREA TO A MAJOR DANCE OFF  PARADE                          Story by Al Jacobs

There is one thing the GOP does right!   Obstruction Dancing... The GOP attacks on all levels, the pitch is to the same drummer, with the same beat and after numerous talking head interviews on the TV, it’s the same coordinated rhetoric.  

Vile and attacking, all on the same script, no solutions, no answers just attack, sometimes personally.  Thats how scumbags fight.  And now led by an immature, ignorant bully.  (Pick one, Bad Hair Trump or Square head KIM JUNG UN) 

The only thing the GOP does right is they LOCKSTEP and know how to attack because they offer nothing but previous failure. 

They quote they are the party of Reagan, a great actor, a great compassionate man and statesman.  But he was not an economist.  

Reaganomics failed bad.  Bush tried the same thing and failed.  Paul Ryan, another attempt and it passed and it will fail.  Worse, it will be almost impossible to fix by the next President.

It failed already, the tax cuts for the middle class will never happen as Trumps tariffs will raise prices on everything.  Meanwhile the rich who really double down on treats will pay less tax and make more money on stocks and keep it.   All you believers in TRUMP, you just got a rude awakening and you deserve it.

The GOP SS ( Sorry Scumbags)  miss the mark, they are more like our friends in North Korea and a failure to follow the party line can lead to excommunication so they all smile and agree just like Square head Un’s army.  

📢  The “ Stechschritt”  is intended to intimidate the enemy by demonstrating both discipline and devotion”.   In the West however,  it was determined the step is used to get or kick the person in front of them to go into the minefield first. 



If Ronald Reagan was alive he might have half the Congress jailed for treason, lying and corruption.  After the Viet Nam mess and four of our Presidents lying he was a bastion of truth.   Not today,  a GOP politician starts every conversation blaming Obama, the stars, earth heating, lost asteroids and  never answer with the truth, only the party line and never answered the question.  Because they had no answers or solutions.   Goose steppers.  Where do they come from?


DANCING SOLDIERS  - “THE STECHSCHRITT
The GOP really does remind me of those fabulous dancing soldiers you see in all Chinese, Russian, North Korean, Iranian soldier formations.  The Iranians are a little more vibrant and use a faster pace.   The goose step a modification of Hitlers Storm troopers have made it worthy of appearing on  “ Dancing with the Red Stars”. 

But they will be up against the high kicking famous Russian steppers, “ The Spetzmasters”.  And as the picture on the left shows their precision is incredible. But a few flaws, the angle of the hats not even and the inside guy is not high enough these are critical points in Red Star Competition.

Facing serious challenges from The North Koreans who have developed a pacy, highly stylized form of the infamous military march, which is said to have originated in 18th-century Prussia.  It’s a little bump they added, quite nice, worthy of a ten in Red Star productions, International dance competition.  But they only got a nine last year and mysteriously the two of the judges who were from China and Iran respectively  died from a strange disease related to polonium poisoning. The Russians took first place.


SWELLED HEADS AMONG THE GENERALS

A strange anomaly in North Korea is the toilet bowl hat, is the style of the hats they wear.  Higher the rank, the bigger the hat to accompany the huge amount of technical information and populist cranial crap that Kim Jung Un wrote about himself.  Praise, worship and self adoration en-mass so they can write them down in their little books they all take notes in.  

At a press party the other night one of the journalists commented when these Generals are around Kim Jung Un they all take notes , applaud, complement him, smile and wear their big hats.  Another commented,  Why thats like when Mike Pence and the other stooges in the cabinet get together!  He  was right, I never thought of that.  Maybe we need to get them bigger hats.

The little family killer questions them the next day and if they are without notes, they will be with-out heads.   It was also noted the men wearing these toilet bowls on their heads must have epoxied them to stay in place or they would blow off during sandstorms or rallies the little Hitler throws.

TECHNICAL:  The toilet bowl hats are expansive to allow the crap info,  really stupid, idolatry they are made to expand and not injure their thin braincells.  

Thus, Junior Officers grow into their own stupidity and idolatry and basically lack any form of thinking or culture in a positive way.  Cranial dyslexia is a common ailment of this society. 

The line soldiers only get Mao caps since they don’t have to think. They only have to dance and shoot which might be a new competitive sport in the Summer Communist Red Games. 

On the right Herr Square-Brain Shit-head is teaching his top officers not to submit blank sheets of paper with 너 바위 보스 or neo bawi boseu. (Translation: “you rock boss”).  He wants to see what they wrote, since he can’t remember what he said.

They also serve as Porto-lets when needed in the field.  Since crap flows downhill, they can stand on their hats, the larger surface making it an easier target.  Lower ranking soldiers shown above are earning their big hats if they live long enough and have a long way to go. 

THE NORTH KOREAN PHOTO-OP PROBLEM

BOTTOM LINE NOT SUCCESSFUL SO FAR

The North Korean agreement in kind is printable, available on the web and down loadable to Desktops, iPads, Smart Phones, Androids and also for those illiterates still using fax and carrier pigeons.  

TRUMP is making claims about how great it went and how much he achieved. 
We are still looking for that to happen, more fake news.

In an exclusive offer, the agreement is pre-printed on 200 sheet high-quality toilet paper (expect small print) so you can serve it as double duty (doody)

First, after you read it, wipe the tears of laughter with it.  Then wipe your butt.  Not the other way around!  This should wipe out any and I mean any misconceptions of not putting Donald’s work to good use.  

EDITORS NOTE:  If you believe we will gain anything of value from this totally fake Photo-OP other than fake news, please contact the Gremkiem-Floogal Institute for Imbeciles, they have seating available for many of you and you will receive immediate attention and enemas.  But wait! Sign up in the next four hours and you will receive double the enemas,  just pay the additional standard clean up fee for the extra mess you’ll make.  Remember our motto, there’s never a shortage of shit when Donald’s around...

Donald J Trump and Kim Jung Un

Summit is a cool term for really bigly photo-op,  it was a chance for the (tough) deal-making blowhard Trump to show his macho,  in a world stage and a bigger gain for the mini-killer Kim Jung Un who makes the Nazi Doctor Mengele look like Mother Teresa’s helper.   

Trump acted fatherly in his body language guiding and teaching Kim Jung Un the fine art of posing and facial expression for the TV cameras and how to stand, look important, perfectly quaffed and polished, positive and confident.   About as phony as two ass-clowns can be. 

Truly his best “puker” to date.  Sincere ? Who is kidding who?  Who wrote that line into the agreement.   Must have been the head liar, Steven Miller.  

The word SINCERE is not in the Korean dictionary.  SIN is as in the brothels he owns “ slaves” and SEAR as in using flamethrowers on his prisoners in his Gulags.  And Donald “ In Korean translates as Un Dum Fuk”  has never been sincere a day in his life.

Not a week later the Rocket Man was in China, meeting with President Xi Jinping at the Great Hall of the People in the heart of Beijing.  Right after receiving all he wanted for giving up nothing and winning the debate of praise words without uttering a word, our young leader was headed for the real deal China and Trump once again looks like an idiot. 

Xi reportedly praised the outcome of the Singapore summit, calling it an “important step toward the political solution of the Korean Peninsula nuclear issue,” according to the party-controlled press. On Wednesday, North Korean State media said Kim and Xi reached an understanding on denuclearization and other issues following the Singapore summit. 

WARNING: With U.S.-China trade ties on the rocks, Kim is well-positioned to play both powers, talking sweet to Trump while pursuing a closer relationship with Xi.   YOU THINK?  It was the plan from the beginning.  The little Rocket Man schmoo-ed him without saying a word.  Donald the great deal maker, well as my poker player friend would say, he done got played...bad. Bluffing might work in poker, but bullshit rarely works in politics, and you’ll lose when the cards are exposed.

07-2018 aljacobsladder.com