THE NORTH KOREA ACCORD



BREAKING WIND NEWS


The Actual Joint Statement of President Donald J. Trump of the United States of America and Chairman Kim Jong Un of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea at the Singapore Summit  

“IT COMES RIGHT FROM THE BOSS’S MOUTH” 
 Unfortunately He suffers from Cranial-Rectal Dyslexia  

Note: This agreement in kind is printable, and down loadable to Desktops, iPads, Smart Phones, Androids and for those illiterates still using fax and carrier pigeons, you will be accommodated.   

In an exclusive offer, the agreement is pre-printed on 200 sheet high-quality toilet paper (expect small print) so you can serve it as double duty (doody)

First, after you read it, wipe the tears of laughter with it.  Then wipe your butt.  Not the other way around!  This should wipe out any misconceptions of not putting Donald’s work to good use.  

EDITORS NOTE:  If you believe we will gain anything of value from this totally fake Photo-OP other than fake news, please contact the Gremkiem-Floogal Institute for Imbeciles, they have seating available for many of you and you will receive immediate attention and enemas. 

Mention my name and you will get a good seat up front, close to the toilets, and a 10% discount.  But wait! Sign up in the next four hours and you will receive double the enemas,  just pay the additional standard clean up fee for the extra mess you’ll make.  Remember our motto, there’s never a shortage of shit when Donald’s around...



THE STATEMENT

President Donald J. Trump of the United States of America and Chairman Kim Jong Un of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK) held a first, historic summit in Singapore on June 12, 2018.   President Trump and Chairman Kim Jong Un conducted a comprehensive, in-depth and sincere exchange of opinions on the issues related to the establishment of new US-DPRK relations and the building of a lasting and robust peace regime on the Korean Peninsula. 

President Trump committed to provide security guarantees to the DPRK, and Chairman Kim Jong Un reaffirmed his firm and unwavering commitment to complete denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula. 
Convinced that the establishment of new US-DPRK relations will contribute to the peace and prosperity of the Korean Peninsula and of the world, and recognizing that mutual confidence building can promote the denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula, President Trump and Chairman Kim Jong Un, state the following:   

  1. The United States and the DPRK commit to establish new US-DPRK relations in accordance with the desire of the peoples of the two countries for peace and prosperity. 
  2. The United States and DPRK will join their efforts to build a lasting and stable peace regime on the Korean Peninsula. 
  3. Reaffirming the April 27, 2018 Panmunjom Declaration, the DPRK commits to work toward complete denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula
  4. The United States and the DPRK commit to recovering POW/MIA remains, including the immediate repatriation of those already identified.

Having acknowledged that the US-DPRK summit -- the first in history -- was an epochal event of great significance in overcoming decades of tensions and hostilities between the two countries and for the opening up of a new future, President Trump and Chairman Kim Jong Un commit to implement the stipulations in the joint statement fully and expeditiously. 

The United States and the DPRK commit to hold follow-on negotiations, led by the US Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, and a relevant high-level DPRK official, at the earliest possible date, to implement the outcomes of the US-DPRK summit.

President Donald J. Trump of the United States of America and Chairman Kim Jong Un of the State Affairs Commission of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea have committed to cooperate for the development of new US-DPRK relations and for the promotion of peace, prosperity, and the security of the Korean Peninsula and of the world.


Donald J.Trump 
President of the United States of America

김정일 유엔
KIM JONG UN Chairman of the State Affairs Commission of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea
•  June 12, 2018  •  Sentosa Island  •  Singapore


The Program

THE PLAYERS IN THIS ONE ACT PLAY

Donald J Trump and Kim Jung Un

Act One

Summit is a cool term for really bigly photo-op,  it was a chance for the (tough) deal-making blowhard Trump to show his macho,  in a world stage and a bigger gain for the mini-killer Kim Jung Un who makes the Nazi Doctor Mengele look like Mother Teresa’s helper.   Trump acted fatherly in his body language guiding and teaching Kim Jung Un the fine art of posing and facial expression for the TV cameras and how to stand, look important, perfectly quaffed and polished, positive and confident.   About as phony as two ass-clowns can be. 

Trump was like a Wedding planner at a fifty-thousand dollar wedding.  A social director role at a hotel opening, possibly one that might get built in Pyongyang. The magnanimous and social Trump dropped to his knees and kissed KIMs ass all over the Korean Peninsula with his sincerity causing much upset stomach and serve bowel stress for those who knew what was really going on.  Trump was getting played, and he went in hook line and sinker.

Truly his best “puker” to date.  Sincere ? Who is kidding who?  Who wrote that line into the agreement.   Must have been the head liar, Steven Miller.  The word SINCERE is not in the Korean dictionary.  SIN is as in the brothels he owns “ slaves” and SEAR as in using flamethrowers on his prisoners in his Gulags.  And Donald “ In Korean translates as Un Dum Fuk”  has never been sincere a day in his life.

What was brought away from the meeting...it’s one of those things, key the music... “you say potato, and I say pi-tat-toe”  


IN THE MEANTIME
Act Two

 North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is in China. Again.  Right after receiving all he wanted for giving up nothing and winning the debate of praise words without uttering a word, our young leader was headed for the real deal China and Trump once again looks like an idiot.  

Kim arrived Tuesday for his third visit to China in the span of three months, meeting with President Xi Jinping at the Great Hall of the People in the heart of Beijing.

The visit comes a week after President Trump met with Kim in Singapore and a day after the United States confirmed that it will cancel what Trump called “war games” with South Korea scheduled for August. News of Kim’s trip came just hours after Trump threatened China with tariffs on $200 billion in goods. 

On Tuesday evening, Kim and his wife, Ri Sol Ju, were welcomed by Xi and his wife, Peng Liyuan. Photos from the event show Kim and Xi shaking hands in front of a row of Chinese and North Korean flags — a visual echo of Kim and Trump’s much-photographed handshake in Singapore.

Xi reportedly praised the outcome of the Singapore summit, calling it an “important step toward the political solution of the Korean Peninsula nuclear issue,” according to the party-controlled press. 

On Wednesday, North Korean state media said Kim and Xi reached an understanding on denuclearization and other issues following the Singapore summit. The report by the Korean Central News Agency did not give details on the views shared by the two leaders. But in the past, North Korea defined denuclearization as including an end to the U.S.-South Korean military alliance and a shift in U.S. defense policies to end nuclear protection for South Korea and Japan.

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un arrives in Beijing, where he will likely brief Chinese President Xi Jinping on his summit with President Trump, as Washington and Seoul agree to suspend a major joint military exercise.

During Kim’s previous trips outside the country, including the Singapore summit, North Korea’s state media waited until he returned home before reporting its version of the talks.

Although details are scarce, the timing and staging of Kim’s trip sends a clear message about Beijing’s place at the center of East Asian diplomacy — and its power over Pyongyang. 


WARNING: With U.S.-China trade ties on the rocks, Kim is well-positioned to play both powers, talking sweet to Trump while pursuing a closer relationship with Xi.   YOU THINK?  It was the plan from the beginning.

“Although it seems there is a blooming romance between Kim Jong Un and Trump, Kim understands the hierarchy. He knows that Xi is the Asian Godfather,” said Yanmei Xie, a China policy analyst at Gavekal Dragonomics, an economic research firm in Beijing. “He is making a pragmatic calculation that China can provide economic assistance to integrate North Korea diplomatically and economically into Northeast Asia.”  That’s a lot closer than the US.

OPINION - BOTTOM LINE - TRUMP IS A FOOL - The little rocket man smoo-ed him without saying a word.  Donald the great deal maker, well as my poker player friend would say, he done got played...bad.


KIM JUNG UN
Act 
Three

Trump praised KJU as a great leader and made a smart remark about how his people are so loyal to him.   That’s dangerous since Kim kills relatives quite easily. The list is quite long of atrocities performed by this cretan of a human being whom Donald holds in high regard.  Ashes to ashes, dust to dust and obviously one cretan loves another cretan and murder is an acceptable way of winning for some politicians, despots, rulers, kings, fake messiahs and assholes.  In KIM’s case the antiaircraft 14.5 KPV is preferred and Trump does the same damage with twitter and his mouth.

Jhang Song Thaek - A little known uncle dispatched was North Korean despot Kim Jong Un’s uncle –, who was married to his father Kim Jong Il’s sister –  he was executed a few weeks ago, but the method of his execution was not in the official state announcement.  There are unsubstantiated rumors, too grisly to report.  But NBC had information he was convicted of treason. He was then executed with antiaircraft machine guns, and his body incinerated with flamethrowers.

Jhang Song Thaek, who was considered Kim Jong Un’s second-in-command, had been subjected to a show trial on standard trumped-up charges of attempting to overthrow the state. The real reasons for his elimination are unknown.  

Another Rumor-and his associates were stripped naked and thrown into a cage containing 120 dogs that had been starved for five days They were torn apart and eaten alive while Kim Jong Un and his brother watched the hour-long carnage with an audience of 300 officials.  Might not be true but this practice was used in the prison Gulags Kim runs. Guards would impregnate the women prisoners and the newborns were fed to the guard dogs.  This is a very sick society.

It runs in the Family - Kim Jong Un’s father, Kim Jong Il, spent a considerable amount of time living in Malta in the 1970s as a guest of not particularly intelligent prime minister Dom Mintoff, ostensibly to learn English. He was coached at the University of Malta,  by Daniel Massa. Kim Jong Il’s father, the terrible North Korean dictator Kim Il Sung, was one of Dom Mintoff’s grisly collection of ghastly friends – a veritable living Madame Tussaud’s of bloody dictators and murderous despots.

•  Since Mr. Kim assumed power in 2011, taking over from his father, Kim Jong-il, he has consolidated his power through executions. In the first six years as leader, he has ordered the executions of at least 340 people, according to the Institute for National Security Strategy, a think tank arm of the National Intelligence Service.

•  Kim Yong-Jin, the deputy premier for education, was killed in front of a firing squad after showing “disrespectful posture” in a meeting. 
•  Hyon Yong-Nam, a general over the armed forces, fell asleep in a meeting. He was executed with a Russian version KPV antiaircraft gun.

•  Kim Jong-nam, Kim Jong-un’s brother, was fatally poisoned at the Kuala Lumpur airport last year. Credit to Shizuo Kambayashi / Associated Press.  The estranged brother of the North Korean leader, was killed last year in a very public way: near a check-in counter at Kuala Lumpur International Airport in Malaysia. 
Two women were seen on security cameras walking up to him and rubbing a substance on his face — a chemical warfare agent known as VX, the United States later determined.
Kim Jong-nam was dead within minutes. The women were arrested, but the United States said evidence showed that North Korea was responsible for the attack.


HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATIONS
Act Four

Often the first human rights violations Westerners ascribe to North Korea, aside from preventing North Koreans from leaving the country, are the lengths it takes to indoctrinate its citizens.

According to the United Nations report, which was prepared by its Commission of Inquiry and is more than 300 pages long, North Korea “operates an all-encompassing indoctrination machine that takes root from childhood to propagate an official personality cult and to manufacture absolute obedience” to Mr. Kim.

Independent thought is bred out and propaganda glorifying the state is plentiful, the report said, as is propaganda intended to “incite nationalistic hatred toward official enemies” like Japan and the United States.

Christianity is deemed a ‘serious threat’  North Korea considers the spread of most religions dangerous, but Christianity is considered a “particularly serious threat” because it “provides a platform for social and political organization and interaction outside the realm of the State,” according to the United Nations report.

Christians are barred from practicing their religion, and those caught doing so are “subject to severe punishments,” the report found. North Korean leaders also conflate Christians with those detained in prison camps, those who try to flee and “others considered to introduce subversive influences,” the report stated.

In interviews with The New York Times in 2012, four North Koreans said that they had been warned that the gulag awaited those who spoke to journalists or Christian missionaries. “If the government finds out I am reading the Bible, I’m dead,” one woman said.

In its 2018 World Watch List, the Christian group Open Doors ranked North Korea the worst nation in the world for Christians, and in a statement last week, the group called on Christians to take part in 24 hours of prayer and fasting on Monday ahead of the meeting between Mr. Trump and Mr. Kim.

‘Deliberate starvation’ as a play for power - Two million to three million people were believed to have died during an extended famine in North Korea in the 1990s, The New York Times reported in 1999, around when the country began to recover.
At the time, North Korea used food as a tool to enforce political loyalty, prioritizing its distribution based on who was most useful to the nation’s political system, the United Nations report stated.

More recently, the inmate population in North Korea’s political prison camps has been culled through “deliberate starvation,” the report found, adding that suspects are also starved “to increase the pressure on them to confess and to incriminate other persons.”

When the 2014 report was conducted, it found that hunger and malnutrition were still widespread problems among the general population, and deaths from starvation continued to be reported.

That prompted the United Nations commission to raise concerns that another mass starvation could occur. “Laws and policies that violate the right to adequate food and freedom from hunger remain in place,” the report said.

ALL THE PRAISE FROM OUR PRESIDENT ABOUT AN INHUMAN PIECE OF TRASH - JUST CONSIDER THE SOURCE

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