KARMA-TOONS




SUGGESTION: THE DONALD J. TRUMP FUNERAL

AND THE PARADE HE SO BADLY WANTED

•   The processional will be led by recently cleaned and hot steam power washing of the finest of  NYC Garbage Trucks fitting the attitude and ideas by Donald J. Trump who exemplified the word garbage.

•  The Drivers Union has agreed to have a lottery as to who will drive the trucks and only the remaining ten losers will have to drive the vehicles to the Landfill.  They will be paid well for this task.  If they decide not to show up, Plan B will be in effect.

Plan B: Several volunteers offered to drive saying  ” part of my job was taking out the garbage,  and TRUMP certainly meets the criteria”,  a very noble insight on their behalf.




THE  RUSSIAN COLLUSION


To Donald with Love

Your twits and stones won’t break my bones, and twitter names will never harm me
But nukes, troops, ships, and cruise missiles might possibly alarm me.

Your claims and bravado from one who dodged his countries service,
I laugh, you’re bragging and self adornment falls short of a stoned Whirling Dervish

Spew all the junk, the flim, flam, and the twitts,  
Go back to playing with those porn queens t*t’s

Please keep twitting and claim fake if thats all that you can,
Since my GRB’s  very superb hackers  just delete all your spam...

Be aware, my friend, I was trained by the elite KGB,
And we got all the hacks free by perusing the DOD

So be kind to me and kiss my ass...
For a scumbag like you, I’m way above your class

In the midst of all your trials, tribulations and talk of defense,
You nether-lands are well protected by your stooge Mike Pence 

And to think you can be my friend and imitate me, thats your quirk...
A simple coward pretend bully like you will always be a jerk...

Have a bigly day....         
Your Fiend, Vladimir 



THE RUSSIAN UNDER-PRESS NOTED TRUMP 

AT HELSINKI WAS DESCRIBED AS ... ( IN RUSSIAN) 

полезный идиот
TRANSLATION:   USEFUL IDIOT



HELSINKI
It was hell for Trump and his plans of a great photo-op sank or sinki’s.   Up against the Russian KGB’s highest ranking trained forty year veteran of espionage, murder by poison, execution, coercion and dictator of the Russian Nation, Trump looked like he was beaten before he opened his mouth and spewed a bunch of poison against his own country.  

Trump reminded me of the pigeon being dived upon by the Coopers Hawk who feasts on small birds and pigeons.  Sort of a soiled pants look...

The Hawk has the same cold eyes Putin has and is very determined in what he wants and will do. 

Coopers Hawks are very successful hunters and like the Peregrine Falcon, many cities like them to keep the pigeon population down. 

Unfortunately, the Hawk never had a chance, they like live prey, and Donald the Weak suffered a severe self inflicted choke by swallowing his own words and appearing to need oxygen or a Coke.  

Putin won by TKO, a TRUMP KNOCK OUT without a blow being struck.  Trump gagged and betrayed his own country.   He insulted  our country just as he has insulted all of our allies.  He seemed void at time dwindling in and out of sanity and reason. (Many are skeptical he has any reason at all, and totally doubt the sanity part.)

His statements at Helsinki were treasonous as they were agreeing with Putin and placing a lot of the blame on the US for the cold war.  Now suspicions of dementia are being discussed behind most doors. ( And a lot of open ones too )  Trump is known as a double crosser and burying his own people. Putin buries anybody and Donald better be careful.

He insulted the core of America’ s beliefs, it threatens our basic freedoms in the face of our worst enemy, a nuclear power capable with any means and further threw America, the Brits and the Germans under the bus all in one week.  It will takes years to put our friends back as friends again.





DONALD TRUMP SPACE COMMANDOS



Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship MISHIGAS-D, the plans and design by Dr. Zarkov (noted Russian) and Flash Gordon.   It’s somewhat continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new sexual life styles, hotel sites, and new civilizations who like to play golf, to boldly go where no one has gone before.  And try not to totally f*ck-up everything it comes in contact with, since Trump and Pence are the only two idiots pressing for it.

Featuring USS Mishigas-D in it’s fabulous setting with a bigly waste of money on a totally screwed up crew set in the Alpha Quadrant, nearby regions of the Chocolate Milky Way Galaxy first discovered by Barack Obama.   In 2018 Admiral Trump made an executive order decision to change it back to the GOP Pure White Milky Way.



THE FRONTIER




KIM JUNG UN AND NORTH KOREA


THE RUMPUBLICAN PARADE COMMITTEE

CHALLENGES N. KOREA TO A MAJOR DANCE OFF  PARADE               Story by Al Jacobs

There is one thing the GOP does right!   Obstruction Dancing... The GOP attacks on all levels, the pitch is to the same drummer, with the same beat and after numerous talking head interviews on the TV, it’s the same coordinated rhetoric.  

Vile and attacking, all on the same script, no solutions, no answers just attack, sometimes personally.  Thats how scumbags fight.  And now led by an immature, ignorant bully.  (Pick one, Bad Hair Trump or Square head KIM JUNG UN) 

The only thing the GOP does right is they LOCKSTEP and know how to attack because they offer nothing but previous failure. 

They quote they are the party of Reagan, a great actor, a great compassionate man and statesman.  But he was not an economist.  

Reaganomics failed bad.  Bush tried the same thing and failed.  Paul Ryan, another attempt and it passed and it will fail.  Worse, it will be almost impossible to fix by the next President.

It failed already, the tax cuts for the middle class will never happen as Trumps tariffs will raise prices on everything.  

Meanwhile the rich who really double down on treats will pay less tax and make more money on stocks and keep it.   All you believers in TRUMP, you just got a rude awakening and you deserve it.

The GOP SS ( Sorry Scumbags)  miss the mark, they are more like our friends in North Korea and a failure to follow the party line can lead to excommunication so they all smile and agree just like Square head Un’s army.  

📢  The “ Stechschritt”  is intended to intimidate the enemy by demonstrating both discipline and devotion”.   In the West however,  it was determined the step is used to get or kick the person in front of them to go into the minefield first. 



If Ronald Reagan was alive he might have half the Congress jailed for treason, lying and corruption.  After the Viet Nam mess and four of our Presidents lying he was a bastion of truth.   Not today,  a GOP politician starts every conversation blaming Obama, the stars, earth heating, lost asteroids and  never answer with the truth, only the party line and never answered the question.  Because they had no answers or solutions.   Goose steppers.  Where do they come from?


DANCING SOLDIERS  - “THE STECHSCHRITT
The GOP really does remind me of those fabulous dancing soldiers you see in all Chinese, Russian, North Korean, Iranian soldier formations.  The Iranians are a little more vibrant and use a faster pace.   The goose step a modification of Hitlers Storm troopers have made it worthy of appearing on  “ Dancing with the Red Stars”. 

But they will be up against the high kicking famous Russian steppers, “ The Spetzmasters”.  And as the picture on the left shows their precision is incredible. But a few flaws, the angle of the hats not even and the inside guy is not high enough these are critical points in Red Star Competition.

Facing serious challenges from The North Koreans who have developed a pacy, highly stylized form of the infamous military march, which is said to have originated in 18th-century Prussia.  It’s a little bump they added, quite nice, worthy of a ten in Red Star productions, International dance competition.  But they only got a nine last year and mysteriously the two of the judges who were from China and Iran respectively  died from a strange disease related to polonium poisoning. The Russians took first place.


SWELLED HEADS AMONG THE GENERALS

A strange anomaly in North Korea is the toilet bowl hat, is the style of the hats they wear.  Higher the rank, the bigger the hat to accompany the huge amount of technical information and populist cranial crap that Kim Jung Un wrote about himself.  Praise, worship and self adoration en-mass so they can write them down in their little books they all take notes in.  

At a press party the other night one of the journalists commented when these Generals are around Kim Jung Un they all take notes , applaud, complement him, smile and wear their big hats.  Another commented,  Why thats like when Mike Pence and the other stooges in the cabinet get together!  He  was right, I never thought of that.  Maybe we need to get them bigger hats.

The little family killer questions them the next day and if they are without notes, they will be with-out heads.   It was also noted the men wearing these toilet bowls on their heads must have epoxied them to stay in place or they would blow off during sandstorms or rallies the little Hitler throws.

TECHNICAL:  The toilet bowl hats are expansive to allow the crap info,  really stupid, idolatry they are made to expand and not injure their thin braincells.  

Thus, Junior Officers grow into their own stupidity and idolatry and basically lack any form of thinking or culture in a positive way.  Cranial dyslexia is a common ailment of this society. 

The line soldiers only get Mao caps since they don’t have to think. They only have to dance and shoot which might be a new competitive sport in the Summer Communist Red Games. 

On the right Herr Square-Brain Shit-head is teaching his top officers not to submit blank sheets of paper with 너 바위 보스 or neo bawi boseu. (Translation: “you rock boss”).  He wants to see what they wrote, since he can’t remember what he said.

They also serve as Porto-lets when needed in the field.  Since crap flows downhill, they can stand on their hats, the larger surface making it an easier target.  Lower ranking soldiers shown above are earning their big hats if they live long enough and have a long way to go. 

THE NORTH KOREAN PHOTO-OP PROBLEM

BOTTOM LINE NOT SUCCESSFUL SO FAR

The North Korean agreement in kind is printable, available on the web and down loadable to Desktops, iPads, Smart Phones, Androids and also for those illiterates still using fax and carrier pigeons.  

TRUMP is making claims about how great it went and how much he achieved. 
We are still looking for that to happen, more fake news.

In an exclusive offer, the agreement is pre-printed on 200 sheet high-quality toilet paper (expect small print) so you can serve it as double duty (doody)

First, after you read it, wipe the tears of laughter with it.  Then wipe your butt.  Not the other way around!  This should wipe out any and I mean any misconceptions of not putting Donald’s work to good use.  

EDITORS NOTE:  If you believe we will gain anything of value from this totally fake Photo-OP other than fake news, please contact the Gremkiem-Floogal Institute for Imbeciles, they have seating available for many of you and you will receive immediate attention and enemas.  But wait!  Sign up in the next four hours and you will receive double the enemas,  just pay the additional standard clean up fee for the extra mess you’ll make.  Remember our motto, there’s never a shortage of shit when Donald’s around...

Donald J Trump and Kim Jung Un  ( Jong-un, Jung-un) 

Summit is a cool term for really bigly photo-op,  it was a chance for the (tough) deal-making blowhard Trump to show his macho,  in a world stage and a bigger gain for the mini-killer Kim Jung Un who makes the Nazi Doctor Mengele look like Mother Teresa’s helper.   

Trump acted fatherly in his body language guiding and teaching Kim Jung Un the fine art of posing and facial expression for the TV cameras and how to stand, look important, perfectly quaffed and polished, positive and confident.   About as phony as two ass-clowns can be. 

Truly his best “puker” to date.  Sincere ? Who is kidding who?  Who wrote that line into the agreement.   Must have been the head liar, Steven Miller.  

The word SINCERE is not in the Korean dictionary.  SIN is as in the brothels he owns “ slaves” and SEAR as in using flamethrowers on his prisoners in his Gulags.  And Donald “ In Korean translates as Un Dum Fuk”  has never been sincere a day in his life.

Not a week later the Rocket Man was in China, meeting with President Xi Jinping at the Great Hall of the People in the heart of Beijing.  Right after receiving all he wanted for giving up nothing and winning the debate of praise words without uttering a word, our young leader was headed for the real deal China and Trump once again looks like an idiot. 

Xi reportedly praised the outcome of the Singapore summit, calling it an “important step toward the political solution of the Korean Peninsula nuclear issue,” according to the party-controlled press. On Wednesday, North Korean State media said Kim and Xi reached an understanding on denuclearization and other issues following the Singapore summit. 

WARNING: With U.S.-China trade ties on the rocks, Kim is well-positioned to play both powers, talking sweet to Trump while pursuing a closer relationship with Xi.   YOU THINK?  It was the plan from the beginning.  The little Rocket Man schmoo-ed him without saying a word.  Donald the great deal maker, well as my poker player friend would say, he done got played...bad. Bluffing might work in poker, but bullshit rarely works in politics, and you’ll lose when the cards are exposed.

HE IS MARRIED TO RI SOL-JU, WIFE OF NORTH KOREAN SUPREME LEADER KIM JONG-UN
The first lady: Called “ he Kate Middleton of North Korea” by the Global Post, Ri Sol-Ju was only last year "outed" as the supreme leader's wife, having previously stood, unidentified, in photos with him.  Little is known about her in general other than that she's around 30 and comes from a well-to-do North Korean family.

However, the rumor mill has been churning out stories that she may have shot a homemade porn film, and that she once led a promiscuous lifestyle. Unproven reports claim that her husband ordered nine musicians who were supposedly perpetuating these rumors executed, says NBC World News.

Her husband: Kim Jong (Jung) Un ( there are about five different ways his name is spelled when translated )  took over the role of Supreme Leader when the country was already in trouble, with skyrocketing poverty and starvation rates. Still, the supreme leader himself lives a "seven-star party lifestyle."

Since taking power, he has replaced more than 40% of the nation's military leaders and other officials who served under his father in order to, according to analysts, show that he is a secure enough leader that he can shed his closest support, the Wall Street Journal reports.


*07-2018 aljacobsladder.com